Amazing Video from my Dad

My dad sent this video to me in an e-mail.  It's absolutely lovely, and you should really check it out if you have the time.  Be sure to press pause on the music that I have playing on the right-hand-side of my page so that you hear the David Crowder Band song in the video!  I always am bugged by that hassle of you guys having to stop the music from my blog to watch the videos...but I really love being able to share some of my favorite songs on my blog by having them play as people read.  Anyway, right now, as I write this, the music player looks like a cassette tape (I love this player so it will probably stay this way for a while)...so just find the pause button and pause it. :)

Cranberry Oatmeal and the 56th Psalm

This morning, I have substituted 1/4 cup cranberry juice for 1/4 cup (out of 1 1/2 cups) water in making my oatmeal.  It definitely gives it a new taste.  I haven't decided yet if it's good or bad...but I am eating it.

Anyway, I'll level with you all.  Honesty is key, right?  My Congenital Myasthenia Gravis has really been beating me up lately.  It's just really frustrating...because I want to live!  But in all honesty, I feel guilty for being frustrated, because yes, while to say that IT SUCKS trying to get through college with this asinine disease would be a gross understatement, it also seems foolish to say so.  Why?  I'll tell you why.

Because the odds have always been against me.  This isn't a pity party...just a fact fiesta (wow...not gonna lie...that was clever).  I wasn't supposed to live.  Then I wasn't supposed to walk.  I wasn't supposed to make it through school or even be able to try to go to college, honestly.  But I'm here.  I'm doing it.  I'm doing it very slowly, yes, but I'm doing it.

Sometimes (okay, no...always) it is hard for me to remember that there is a line between doing my best and being the best.


And that's kind of where I am at right now, I think.  I don't know.  It's just disheartening to me that doing my best isn't always going to be the best.  It makes me feel even more behind everyone else than I really am, I think.

Sometimes I don't know who my worst enemy is.  You know the famous adage "I am my own worst enemy"?  Lots of times I think that I am that way.  But here's the thing.  My whole life I have been trying to live in the mindset that I am not my disease and my disease is not me.  So this genetic defect that is always trying to keep me down...that is not who I am....  So is the genetic defect my worst enemy?  Or is my mental/emotional/spiritual struggle with that defect my worst enemy?  And if so...is that struggle me? Am I that struggle?  I don't think so.  I hope not.  I don't want to be defined by what's wrong with me.

I'm pretty blessed to not have armies or angry people swearing to kill me.  I'm not persecuted in that way.  (This is my attempt at a segue.)  But I've always been fighting against my body to do what I want.  And this shell that I live in has been doing its best to hold me back for 23 years.  So in a sense...I feel persecuted by myself...but involuntarily...if that makes any sense.  Anyway...when I was eating my oatmeal (actually I have yet to finish it) I read this Psalm which gave me some hope or insight or comfort or something like those things.

Psalm 56

Trust in God under Persecution

To the leader:  according to The Dove on far-off Terebinths.  Of David.

A Miktam, when the Philistines seized him in Gath.

Be gracious to me, O God, for people trample on me;

all day long foes oppress me;

my enemies trample on me all day long,

for many fight against me.

O Most High, when I am afraid,

I put my trust in you.

In God, whose word I praise,

in God I trust; I am not afraid;

what can flesh do to me?

All day long they seek to injure my cause;

all their thoughts are against me for evil.

They stir up strife, they lurk,

they watch my steps.

As they hoped to have my life,

so repay them for their crime;

in wrath cast down the peoples,

O God!

You have kept count of my tossings;

put my tears in your bottle.

Are they not in your record?

Then my enemies will retreat

in the day when I call.

This I know, that God is for me.

In God, whose word I praise,

in the Lord, whose word I praise,

in God I trust; I am not afraid.

What can a mere mortal do to me?

My vows to you I must perform, O God;

I will render thank offerings to you.

For you have delivered my soul from death,

and my feet from falling,

so that I may walk before God

in the light of life.

All that I can say is thank you Lord for Your Word, Your guidance, and Your Son...all of which take this life of mine and make it mean something, turning my burdens into opportunities to seek You further.

Well of course, that's not all I can say...but the following is not about Psalm...

I can also say that my cranberry oatmeal experiment was probably a one time only deal.  Not sure it's good.  Also, it is now cold.  I will finish it now, and continue on with my day as best as I can.  My plan is not to fight against my body (it is doing what it is doing for some reason) but to Stand with the Lord.

Peace and Blessings to you all on this Tuesday.

Stay Classy,

LT

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Photo from Elizabeth Gilbert's website.

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

 The above quote from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, resonated with me so much that I pressed the skip-back button of my car's CD player simply to hear it again.

For anyone who doesn't yet know, Eat, Pray, Love is the true story of Elizabeth Gilbert's search for everything across Italy, India, and Indonesia, and that being the case, the book is quite properly subtitled.  Elizabeth Gilbert, an American author and journalist, having found herself unbearably unhappy in both her marriage and her life, fought her way through a devastating divorce (with a side order of an affair) and then traveled the world in search of...well...everything.  I want to sound well-versed and thoughtful here but honestly, there is no need to try to reword what Gilbert has already written so beautifully and succinctly.

The book is divided, conveniently into 108 chapters, reflecting the 180 beads of the Japa Mala used in a few different forms of meditation.  I was thrilled by this.  Not only in the everyday-Lauren-OCD way but also as I have been using my very own mala from Tibet in meditation for around a year now.  Anyway, it was just cool to read (hear) about Gilbert's personal experiences with various forms of meditation, both Indian and Balinese.  So, the 108 chapters were organized into 36 chapters for each country.

Gilbert uses her incredible skill as a writer to illuminate the characters that she met during her travels without overpowering them.  She successfully acts as a vessel for their individual personalities to come through.  It should be noted that the audiobook (the way that I have experienced this book) is read by the author.  I found that this gave the reading a nice touch.  No need to search for the correct interpretation when the words are one's own, right?

However...the chapter where Gilbert essentially tells Ketut Liyer's story (Liyer is the Balinese Medicine Man whose palm reading practically convinces Gilbert to go to Bali in the first place) is a little much.  I only say this because the author voices all of the individual characters in her book...and it was just kind of annoying when I was listening to her speak for this man for what seemed like forever.  It unfortunately got to the point where I stopped listening to the stories that Liyer was telling because of my personal aversion to the way that Gilbert was voicing them.  That's not to say that I literally stopped listening to the CD...I just kind of zoned out.

All in all this book is an absolutely fantastic read (or listen, as was my case).  I bought the book a couple of years ago for one of my parents for Christmas (I maintain that I bought it for my dad but he thinks that I got it for my mom).  Anyway, neither of them have read it yet.  I've told them both that they should do so.  It's simply a fascinating look at religion, spirituality, and life from the eyes of a woman who became confused, frustrated, and saddened by the whole rigamarole and then took it upon herself to search for the answers and meet God halfway.

If you have the time, check out the video below.  It's 20 minutes long but totally worth it.  It is Elizabeth Gilbert speaking about the creative process, the creative mind, and the cognitive rejection of that undying question that plagues artists once they have brought something really great to life..."What if everything else that I create never lives up to this?"

Alright guys, that's all for now.

Stay classy!

LT