"These Kids Needed Us and We Have an Obligation to Change This"

Little Bit Absent

Hey everyone,

I realize I've been a little bit absent on here.  I've just been spending a lot of time living my life (this new version of it, anyway) and getting acclimated.  Life in the apartment is great.  Will post pictures soon.  And to those of you who fear that I've given up on my cooking/blogging adventure...fear not.  I've been cooking, and documenting (of course) but just haven't put up any blogs yet.  But I will.  Just finding a schedule and a rhythm (2 essential things in my little corner of the world) and haven't yet found the optimum spot for writing.

Finishing up my last model for last semester's scenography class.  So 2 things will come out of that.  1.  Pictures of the set (if it's worth looking at...which honestly, I'm proud to say that I think it will be). 2.  More time...I think.

Anyway, just wanted to post something.  So that was it.  Oh...and one more thing...

Genevieve proudly sporting her new collar.
She's dealt with the move pretty well.

So that's what's going on here.  Model work.  Then work work.  Then homework.  Then a staff meeting.  Then Alpha Psi Omega.

Peace.

The Ties That Bind

There are so many questions in a life.  There is so little time to ask them.  There is even less time to wait for the answers.  But forcing answers may bring insincerity to a life.  To all of the lives connected to that life.

And what of that life and those connected lives?  How are they connected?  And just what are the ties that bind them or that have bound them together in the past?

Just as the human body instinctively heals itself, are our souls not inclined to do the same?  It seems to me that they are, but that there is a distinct and notable difference between the healing of the body and the healing of the soul.  The process is essentially the same.  Aesthetically, the outcome is the same as well.

When a knee is scraped, the body immediately goes to work, producing a scab, covering up the wound, and keeping any possible forthcoming dangers at bay.  In time, if the scrape is small enough, the evidence disappears without a trace.  A deeper cut or more serious injury may end up leaving a scar.  That scar serves as a reminder to the knee's owner that they'd better be careful the next time they go climbing the tree in the back yard.  This reminder simultaneously acts as a news bulletin to all who lay eyes on the knee: This knee has been hurt.

The souls of people are woven together in a complex tapestry that when glanced at from afar looks much more smooth than it actually is.  Each moment in time, even when we are not aware of it, we are each weaving our way through our life stories, and through the life stories of those around us.  It seems that we are intertwined in such a way that we do not realize the extent of our souls' connections until something happens, whether that something is good or bad (or in the gray area where most of the world exists).  So when something happens...when threads become frayed or severed, it is felt by the closely surrounding areas of the tapestry.  When threads are snipped there are a few things that can be done.  The one remedy with the least effort but maybe also the most possible destruction is to just leave it.  If you leave a loose thread, and don't ever touch it or mess with it, there's a possibility that it may make it through.  But that leaves two threads, raw and bare, with no support or protection.  A loose thread can also weave itself in an out of other surrounding threads, finding support and community.  Or, if the protection of one's heart is the main concern, a loose thread can simply follow the example of the human body and cover itself up, closing out anything and everything else that may come along.  But when we essentially cover ourselves like aglets on shoelaces, we cut ourselves off from life itself.

So what happens when severed threads wish to try knotting themselves together once more?  What happens when you've got a handful of aglets, bumping against each other, longing for the way things used to be?  I'd hazard a guess that things will never be the way that they used to be...but that's not to say that they could not be better than they are now.

How does one begin tying that knot?  Does the knot begin with apologies or forgiveness?  Which thread initiates it?  When, if ever, to the aglets come off?  And maybe most importantly, if the threads were to successfully weave themselves together...would they ever be able to live with the fact that there are some obvious knots where it once seemed that they were fused together without a hitch?

A Song for Today

I'm at a point in my life...I think...a point where life twists and turns and takes you to various places...and it's just weird to recognize that while I'm at that point in my own life, one of those closest to me is at that point in her own as well.  Today...one of the dearest people in my life, a girl who may know me even better than I know myself, a puzzle piece of my soul, and my best friend...was taking a nap in my bed before she went to work .  I was reading A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen.  Nickel Creek (one of our shared favorites) was playing in the background.  She was sleeping soundly.  I was studying soundly.  But then a song came on that kind of broke down this invisible wall of strength that I've been trying to maintain for a while.

When You Come Back Down

By: Nickel Creek

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

[Bridge:]
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down 

This friend of mine...this sister to my soul...is graduating soon (she's a little bit more on time with her education than I am).  She's going on and following her dreams.  That is the best that I could ever ask for or wish for her.  And I do.  EVERY OUNCE of me is in full support of where she's going and what she's doing.  There must be absolutely no mistake about that.  There's no "but" here...just an "and."

...and the thing is...no matter how much I love her and wish the best for her and NEVER EVER would want to hold her back...there is this regrettably human selfishness within me that just doesn't know what I'm going to do without her by my side.  I am my own person.  A beautiful person.  I know I will still be me on my own.  Okay...here's the "but," I guess I lied...but...we complament each other.  Yes...I know that that is incorrect spelling.  It's a made up word that combines both "compliment" and "complement" because we do both.

Anyway...I woke her up from her nap.  I was crying but didn't want to say why.  I don't want her to feel anything but love and support from me.  At the same time though...I don't want her to think that this is going to be easy for me.  It doesn't matter that it's not going to be easy...life isn't easy, period.  But what I'm saying is that I don't want her, for a moment, to think that she's unappreciated, unloved, or that my heart doesn't cry itself dry when I think of her living on the West Coast...instead of a few blocks away.

I think that's all that I have to say.  For now anyway.  We're sitting in the library.  She's being studious and studying and I am blogging.  Something is wrong with this picture.  I just wanted to put that out there.  Maybe if I break down crying tonight I'll just have her read this as an explanation.  Here's hoping that that doesn't happen though.  I look up to her so much.  As an actor, a designer, a woman, a sister, a friend, a person, and a soul.  I want nothing more for her to fly as high as she can.

Thanks for listening.

Peace, Hope, and Love,

LT