29 April 2010

A Song for Today

I'm at a point in my life...I think...a point where life twists and turns and takes you to various places...and it's just weird to recognize that while I'm at that point in my own life, one of those closest to me is at that point in her own as well. of the dearest people in my life, a girl who may know me even better than I know myself, a puzzle piece of my soul, and my best friend...was taking a nap in my bed before she went to work .  I was reading A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen.  Nickel Creek (one of our shared favorites) was playing in the background.  She was sleeping soundly.  I was studying soundly.  But then a song came on that kind of broke down this invisible wall of strength that I've been trying to maintain for a while.

By: Nickel Creek

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down 

This friend of mine...this sister to my graduating soon (she's a little bit more on time with her education than I am).  She's going on and following her dreams.  That is the best that I could ever ask for or wish for her.  And I do.  EVERY OUNCE of me is in full support of where she's going and what she's doing.  There must be absolutely no mistake about that.  There's no "but" here...just an "and."

...and the thing matter how much I love her and wish the best for her and NEVER EVER would want to hold her back...there is this regrettably human selfishness within me that just doesn't know what I'm going to do without her by my side.  I am my own person.  A beautiful person.  I know I will still be me on my own.'s the "but," I guess I lied...but...we complament each other.  Yes...I know that that is incorrect spelling.  It's a made up word that combines both "compliment" and "complement" because we do both.

Anyway...I woke her up from her nap.  I was crying but didn't want to say why.  I don't want her to feel anything but love and support from me.  At the same time though...I don't want her to think that this is going to be easy for me.  It doesn't matter that it's not going to be isn't easy, period.  But what I'm saying is that I don't want her, for a moment, to think that she's unappreciated, unloved, or that my heart doesn't cry itself dry when I think of her living on the West Coast...instead of a few blocks away.

I think that's all that I have to say.  For now anyway.  We're sitting in the library.  She's being studious and studying and I am blogging.  Something is wrong with this picture.  I just wanted to put that out there.  Maybe if I break down crying tonight I'll just have her read this as an explanation.  Here's hoping that that doesn't happen though.  I look up to her so much.  As an actor, a designer, a woman, a sister, a friend, a person, and a soul.  I want nothing more for her to fly as high as she can.

Thanks for listening.

Peace, Hope, and Love,

18 April 2010


Not great news to report this week on the weight loss front.  I've been pretty sick and ended up gaining a pound. :(  It's been stressful here at school lately with Woyzeck happening and all.  Lots of make-up work, lots of rehearsal, blah blah blah...anyway...while I am trying to lose weight, but right now I'm trying to just stay as healthy as I can while I finish up the semester.

Honestly, I feel pretty terrible right that's all for now, but pictures of the Wozyeck set to come soon.


14 April 2010

New Hobby

There's no time like the present, yes?  For what?  This time, trying out a new hobby.  It occurred to me today, as I went to  to track a dollar bill, that I haven't a hobby.  A person needs a hobby, right?

I guess maybe theatre used to be my hobby...but that's kind of my job now.  And I used to look for "Indian Beads" in the pea gravel on the play ground as a hobby...but it's been a while.

When I was looking around the website it seemed like a pretty cool idea.  It's not life altering like a space-traveling hobby but it's not "watching beige paint dry" either (little GLEE reference there).

So anyway, I have ordered my own stamp and ink pad so that I can bring the joy of tracking United States currency into my life and into the lives of the people at Marsh Supermarkets (where I support my yogurt habit that is bordering on Burn Notice proportions).

As always, I've got a lot to say, but I feel like this has been enough thrilling information for one day.  To overwhelm any of you would devastate me.  You see...I care for you?  Isn't that great?

Actually I'm just exhausted (but yes I do care for was just the overwhelming/thrilling stuff that was lies).

Peace and Love,

11 April 2010

150.6 - Fell Off Two Wagons. Officially Back On.

Random 150.6 Fact: In White Pigeon Township, Michigan, there are 150.6 people per square mile.

This week was filled with a few obstacles and a few bouts of carelessness.  I'm totally fine, but the obstacles were a) not feeling well and b) having an acute psychological reaction to one of my new medicines.  The bouts of carelessness were a) Easter candy b) Qdoba, Little Caesar's, and Blue Moon during the championship game c) Qdoba and HotBox later in the week and d) not keeping track of my calorie intake due to the fact that I knew it would be terrible to look at.  That's kind of the point though, isn't it?  Anyway, I've learned my lesson and this week will be better.

When I rode my bike to the HRC I was fully prepared for a much bigger weight gain than 0.8 lbs...but that's what happened, and I'm thankful that that was all.  This week it's back to business.  I remarked to my mom a while back that "I really like this losing weight thing," and I wasn't lying.  To be honest, I think that part of the reason that I've had such a rough week is the way I've been eating.  I just feel better when I eat well.  Who would've thought, huh?  The thing is...when I started off with that first burrito from Qdoba, it was almost like I was done for.  Obviously I still could've exerted self-control (I didn't, obviously) but it was like once I ate fast food I started really craving it.  It made me feel poorly but I continued to want it.  Whereas when I'm eating well and I crave something like passes and I'm fine.  I think there's something to that.

So, having realized that, I was more careful on Friday when Brett and I went out to dinner.  We went to Hunan, a Chinese place that we frequent, and I ordered one of the healthy choices.  Steamed chicken and vegetables with white rice and sauce on the side.  Brett grimaced when he saw my plate and kind of seemed to eat his egg roll, soup, and fried wontons more quickly than usual as I waited for my meal...but it was good, and good for me, and I didn't feel guilty when we left.

Anyway...I've got work to do so that's all for now.  Just wanted to check in.  This week I'm going to try to really increase my water drinking.  I love ice water...but Indy water can be so I'll have to just get past those things floating around in my glass.  If everyone else drinks it then it must be okay-ish...right?  Ugh.

Keep Smiling!

10 April 2010

A Midsummer Night's Dream - Set Design

Today has been a rather wonderful one.  It started with sleeping in a bit, followed by going to Starbucks for breakfast and studying until I had to go to Woyzeck tech.  I had a raspberry white mocha and a piece of low fat (or reduced fat [not sure of which]) cinnamon roll coffee cake.  Delightful.  During my indulgent breakfast I worked on some play analysis work on The Mystery of Irma Vep.  Then I did some work for my design for the set of the same play.  (Yes, that's right, I decided to try to take it easy and, for scenography, design the set for the play that I chose to analyze in play analysis.  When I decided that...I didn't realize how complex of a set Irma Vep was going to be...and due to necessity, I might add, not lofty ambitions...or not solely lofty ambitions.)

Anyway, then I went to Woyzeck tech for the first four hours (video and such to come later) and left for dinner and more play analysis work.  Watched a few episodes of Buffy to unwind during/after dinner (more than I should have) and then really got to work.  I've been working on a simple analysis of Tennessee Williams' use of forwards in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.  I looked up from my script after finishing a section of it and saw my Midsummer Night's Dream model sitting on the arm of my couch.  This reminded me that I'd not put up my design photos for that, as I'd told people I without further ado, here they are!

First of all, what you see below are my rough sketches for how I wanted things to be.

To the left is the finished model for my design.  1/8"=1'.  The circle at the back of the stage is an abstract moon.  The moon appears on almost every page of Midsummer...I'm not kidding.  So my first inspiration was the moon/moonlight/dark-light.  As many know, much of the show takes place in a forest...hence the trees.  While the trees may seem unfinished, they are not.  They are metal for a reason.  I didn't want to set the show in one place or Athens or the forest.  I wanted a unit set that could transform into both...or anything.  So the trees are meant to be metal...not urban jungle, just metal.  I wanted the moon to be always present in my design but I wanted a citylike harshness to break up the solidity.  For that I turned to stained glass and leaded windows for inspiration.  The moon "flat," if you will (though it is way more than a flat), is backlit to give it that translucent glow.

The upright moon is actually constructed so that some of the individual panels will open up to facilitate the entrance of the fairies.  That being the case, there is a 3' deep support system for the actors using the panels, and permanently attached ladders so that they can access each panel safely (The ladders will be seen with the backlighting, but that's cool...this is theatre...we all know people can't actually fly).

To the left are the final renderings for the stage.  The stage is essentially a light box.  Under the translucent floor (similar to the moon) are projectors to create the ground that the actors tread upon...thus, quickly and magically transforming the environment from Athens to the forest (the quickness needed for good theatre and the magic necessary for Midsummer).  The colors for the Athens stage were inspired by a photo I found of the Parthenon and the forest stage was inspired by forests...whatever forests you want.

Finally, just in case anybody REALLY wanted to see is the complete ground plan (except some of the title block got cut apologies...I can't figure out my scanner so I took some of these photos in a hurry before I turned everything in).

Peace and Love to You All!

04 April 2010

149.8 a.k.a. Mile Marker #1 Reached!

Random 149.8 Fact:  In Bohemia, NY, according to the 2000 Census, there were 149.8 housing units per square kilometer.

So yes...first announcement.  I now weigh 149.8 lbs (if you didn't catch that already).  Here's the deal...I'm thinking that there was something fishy with my weigh-in on Friday because...well...just because.  I mean if you look at the numbers, it just makes sense...that it was a fluke, I mean.  But whatever.  I'm going to leave it up anyway.  Why?  Well, because I can!

So, second announcement.  I have gotten under the 150 mark!  For my extremely learned readers, this may be obvious and as such, an unnecessary announcement.  Luckily for you all, I'm just a caring individual...willing to go that extra mile to make sure you know that I've accomplished something.

Speaking of going that extra mile...I walked over a mile yesterday, watching Dogs 101 on Animal Planet.  Did you know that the Pomeranian actually comes from sledding dogs?  I didn't, but now I do you now (if you'd not known it before).  Isn't learning fun?! They were just bred down to be smaller...they're "travel size for your convenience" (Mushu...definite favorite)!  And've got me right...I was on the treadmill on a holiday weekend.  If you must, you may bask in my greatness...just don't feel obligated.

Back to business.  Announcement number three, so inanely let out of the bag by this post's title, is that I have reached my first mile marker that I mentioned in an earlier post so I have now gone and edited that earlier post...crossing out that mile marker (and the beginning) like so.  What an exciting moment in history.

So that's all I've got to say.  I hope that all of the Easter-celebrators (if you will) had a blessed and lovely Easter, I know I did, and I hope that all of the non-Easter-celebrators (if you will) had a blessed and lovely day and celebrated the miracle and wonder that is you and your unique existence.

Peace, Love, and Pomeranians,

02 April 2010


Random 152.8 Fact:  152.8 square km of Glen Arbor Township, MI, is water.

It seems that this week I have gained 2 lbs back.  Not ideal, not at all, but I realize that things like this happen, and for a myriad of reasons.  I have a sneaking suspicion that some of it may have to do with my lack of time spent at the gym.  Instead of going to the gym this week I've been trekking around outside and, while it has been testing my endurance, I've not been breaking a sweat the same way that I do in the gym.

So...back to the gym this week (it's getting too hot for me to be exercising outside now anyway, with my disease) and I shall continue to keep track of what I'm eating and drinking.

A battle lost?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  War lost?  Not even close.