Today at church, my pastor talked about how Lent is kind of a time to press the reset button on one's life. To reevaluate the expectations that one has for oneself. To search deep within oneself and find out what has been building up inside to keep Jesus at bay.
For this Lenten season, I chose to give up self-doubt. It's the first time that I've ever given up something like that...something that's not tangible, or an amount of time, or something like that.
It's been pretty great, actually. For as long as I can remember, I've struggled to believe in myself. Who doesn't, really? But anyway, I just thought about it and came to the realization that God did not create me to think poorly of myself or to not be able to do things. God created me, specifically, to be who I am, and so shouldn't I be who I am, believe in who I am, and do all that I can?
Yes.
So the realization that I came to in church today (and have been thinking about on and off for a while now) is that there are kind of two steps to Lent for me this year.
1. Give up self-doubt (believe in myself).
2. Go out and live.
Believing I can do things is wonderful...but not enough. I need to do those things that I can do! While believing in oneself is difficult sometimes, just deciding to do so has kind of made it easier for me...but the thing is, whether or not I believe in myself, which I DO, there will be times in my life where I will fail. But I can still give it my all and try not to. And when I do fail, which I surely will, over and over again, I just need to kind of look at it in a "losing a battle but not the war" kind of way, I guess.
Anyway, just wanted to throw that out into cyberspace! Now that I've done so (after church, Panera for a bagel and to see Melissa, working out, and showering) I'm going to get back to that pile of homework I've got. Why? Because I BELIEVE! HaHa.
Peace out, Readers.
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